Shalom

The most Jewish thing I remember about my childhood was singing 'shalom' in assembly with all the other Muslim, Hindu, Christian, Buddhist and Jewish kids.

"Shalom shalom

May peace be with you

Throughout your days.

In all that you do

May peace be with you

Shalom

Shalom"

As I write those words my eyes well up.

We would sing those words like a mantra over and over, and I can remember sometimes one of the teachers would deftly guide half of the school to sing a half bar out of sync with the other, creating a beautiful echo effect in the already echoey school hall.

"Shalom shalomshalom shalom

May peace be withmay you

Peace be with you

Throughout yourthroughoutdaysyour Days

In all that you indo allthat you domay 

Peacemay bepeace withbeyouwith you

Shalom

Shalom"

I loved singing that song.

Pain

The word 'pain' is very limited in the scope of its definition, describing an aspect of life that is avoided by most people. It is something we reluctantly endure when we must, and block out when we can with drugs. There is a lack of understanding because the majority of us dislike it, making it a core source of suffering. But pain is a sensation, like touch, taste, sight, smell and hearing. It is a message from ourselves to ourselves to communicate that something damaging is happening to us. It is a message, a loud and often aggressive one, that something is wrong. Therefore should we be blocking it out? If it is a message then maybe we should be listening and trying to understand the structure and meaning of the message, but we fight pain, are told to hide pain with drugs that we are sold in ever greater quantities and potencies. In doing this I believe we are stifling the communications systems of our bodies, and I believe, hampering our understanding of ourselves and slowing our recovery.

There is no limit to the different interpretations of pain, because everyone feels and interprets it differently, through different bodies and different minds, with different levels of tolerance and control over their reception, perception and reaction to this sense. Some people have undergone major surgery without anaesthetic. Many people induce pain upon themselves through various forms of self-mutilation as a form of ritual. Some people derive direct pleasure from pain. Some suffer pain but derive pleasure from their suffering. Some endure it to prove their worth to the tribe to which they belong. The categories are numerous, but the individual differences are endless. Pain is self-defined.

When we are children our automatic reaction to pain is to scream or cry. Perhaps this is an evolutionary defense mechanism to startle an attacker, or perhaps to alert a parent that their offspring is in danger. Maybe it is a vocal amplification of the sensory message we are experiencing. Whatever it is, we learn to tolerate it as we get older. A bang on the knee no longer yields sobbing floods of tears as we mature. A grazed elbow no longer puts us in as much distress as it used to. Once we grow up and realise that a grazed knee is not any kind of real danger to us, we brush it off and carry on with our day, laughing about it. What has changed here; the message, or our perception and reaction to the message? Think to yourself; does a childhood memory of the pain from a minor injury seem any different to the pain you feel from a similar injury today? I see no difference. It is only my experience that has changed: experience gives us memory and knowledge of pain, knowledge which allows us to react to it suitably. 

I have suffered from migraines for some time. Experience has taught me that I cannot continue what I am doing when I experience this pain. I must move away from bright light and loud noise and concentrate all of my attention upon my head until the migraine is relieved. The pain used to sometimes come on in waves, and the waves could result in my body tensing up, which I learned made the pain worse, so I learned to relax. By acknowledging the pain I found ways to receive it better. This did not make it any less unpleasant. More interesting perhaps, but I felt no desire to continue feeling such a sensation, so I resolved to find out what was the cause of my suffering. This led me to try stopping drinking tea, coffee and alcohol, of which I found coffee to be the cause. If I had simply blocked the pain out with drugs I would still be suffering, probably more so than I was, and causing myself further damage through continued consumption of painkillers and caffinated drinks. Anyways I think you get the point. This is an old post I am polishing off so I won't go on much further. I will end by recommending anyone in pain to acknowledge the message your body is sending you before drowning it out with drugs. 

Your body is talking to you. LISTEN!

Punch now, ask questions later

Just woke up and remembered a lad trying to start a fight with me as I got in a taxi last night. He was wasted and giving grief to some guy for being black so I told him calmly and politely to leave it out. The taxi driver told me I should have punched him.

I told the taxi driver that if I'd done that he would have woken up the next morning with a bruised face more angry than ever, and some other person would have been on the receiving end of his anger and frustration somewhere down the line, that it wouldn't have done anyone any good in the long run.

The taxi driver told me that he wouldn't have thought about it like that, that he would have punched first and asked questions later.

This is the problem with the world. People don't think enough. We often allow what we call our emotions to dictate our behaviour, usually at critical moments when logic and restraint are most called for, and we then justify it with 'I was angry'. This is no excuse. Anger and other emotions are much like alcohol. They cause us to behave in strange ways that we would not normally behave. They take control of us and jump in front of the rational thought processes that normally dictate our behaviour.

It is not easy to get in front of our emotions when they rear up. We spend our lives trying to keep ahead of them, and if we didn't or couldn't we would live like animals.

Our emotions are what we call instinct. The chemically induced contexts that take pole position in historically important situations of survival. They do not always act in our favour though. Despite the rigours of natural selection, the nature of the world is that mankind has evolved complicated social structures that relieve us of the literal struggle for survival. These social structures have arisen as a a result of conscious, logical thought, not instinct. Instinct is always there, in the back seat, but the driver is logical thought: Contemplation: Consideration: Imagination.